Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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