the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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