dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
