Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
