We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
