I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
