You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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