PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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