I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
