We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
