its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
