It's like a parade of train wrecks.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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