Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
How's work?
Spinning.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
