Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
