Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
