He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
