I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Randomize
