im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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