this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
