Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
