the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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