i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
