it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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