What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
