He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Terrible idea I love it
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
