Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Never joke about your clitoris.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize