we made out on top of his cat.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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