You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
