How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
