so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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