going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize