the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
