If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
