Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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