He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
