I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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