my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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