I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
