I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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