Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
