we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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