Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I have surprise drugs for everyone
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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