a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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