Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
