my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
