She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
