Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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