Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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