Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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