i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
