Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
