Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
