Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
