when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
