Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
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