I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
