you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
