i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Dick very happy bro
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
