Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
