Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
bring money and cleavage
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
